


the stages

by jeanmilburns_jeans



Category: Hannibal (TV), The Fall (TV 2013)
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Angst, Cunnilingus, F/F, Face-Sitting, Lesbian Sex, Strap-Ons, pure smut muffin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:29:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29613636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeanmilburns_jeans/pseuds/jeanmilburns_jeans
Summary: Bedelia Du Maurier and Stella Gibson's journey through the stages of grieforFour times Bedelia and Stella fuck and one time they did not.
Relationships: Bedelia Du Maurier & Stella Gibson, Bedelia Du Maurier/Stella Gibson
Comments: 22
Kudos: 41





	1. denial

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the research from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross; the stages of grief- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Each stage does not have to be linear, they can be cyclical or revisited later. Hope, although not a set stage, can be found throughout the stages. 
> 
> Grief does not have to be related to only death. it can occur in any instance: the loss of a relationship, a job, or ability/ way of life. 
> 
> It can even be the lost of a dream or idea...

i. denial 

Under dimly lit lights and sparsely inhabited tables, Stella Gibson drank her whiskey in a hotel bar. She was in town for a conference regarding the psychology of criminals, learning new ways to interrogate and pull information out of perpetrators without them lawyering up. 

Looking around for possible pleasure partners, she took in the patrons at the bar. No man held her interest; their obvious wedding ring tans on their left hand a direct turn off. She was about to leave when she saw someone who she wanted. 

A woman with long blonde hair, parted on the right falling over her shoulder, walked into the bar and took a seat at the end. She ordered a red wine and began to sip it, oblivious of the stares she was getting from the men nearby. Stella took in her features; the curve of her calf muscles as they stretched in her stiletto heels on the bar chair, her hips encased in her expensive dress, the perfect profile of her nose and mouth as she was illuminated by the overhead lights. 

Stella decided to make her move. She left her spot at the bar and walked over to this woman with her glass. Taking the seat on her left, Stella signaled for another drink. The woman glanced at her, but said nothing. 

“Forgive me, but you were at the conference earlier today weren’t you,” the British accent softening her bluntness. 

The blonde woman turns her head slightly at Stella’s voice, “Yes I was, and I assume you were there as well.” 

“Stella Gibson, Detective Superintendent.” She held out her hand, waiting for the other woman to take the bait.

The other woman looked at Stella’s hand for a beat before taking it and introducing herself, “Doctor Bedelia Du Maurier.” 

“Pleasure, Dr. Du Maurier. Tell me, how did you find the conference?” Stella was waiting for the perfect time before asking Bedelia to go upstairs, she had to do some investigating herself.

“I found it rather disappointing.” Dr. Du Maurier was not giving her anything. Stella decided to be bold.

“I agree. The entire time I was there, I was thinking about going back to my room for a nice, relaxing bubble bath.” Stella reached out a finger, trailing down Bedelia’s hand on her wine glass as she spoke. 

“Hmm, I was thinking about the same exact thing.” Bedelia abruptly stood up and put some money down on the counter before picking up her coat. Facing Stella, she looked her in the eye, “I was also thinking about eating out as well.”

Stella was taken aback by Bedelia’s words and grinned widely. “Funny, I was thinking the same thing.” Stella paid for her drinks and followed Bedelia to the elevators. 

Bedelia pressed the button for her floor and Stella stood in the corner opposite her. They were quiet the entire ride up. When the elevator doors opened, the women walked out, down the hall to Bedelia’s room. The beep of the door indicated that the door was open; Stella walked in as Bedelia placed the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the outer handle before closing the door with a firm shut.

***

They did not kiss. The women removed their own clothes while watching the other. They caressed and touched every newly uncovered skin, but never kissed on the lips. Stella moaned softly as Bedelia nibbled on her collarbone and sucked on her pulse point of her neck. Bedelia sighed as Stella ran her hands up her sides and cupped her tits in her hands, rubbing thumbs over erect, hard nipples. 

Bedelia pushes Stella onto the bed, making Stella’s breasts sway with the motions. Bedelia crawled over her and lowered her hips over Stella’s, grinding her pussy over the woman under her. Bedelia’s eyes never left Stella’s, always keeping contact as she moved over her, spreading wetness over Stella’s lower body. 

Bedelia caressed her breasts as Stella watched. When her hand wandered from her right breast down her belly and into the soft curls between her legs, Stella had enough; she needed to touch her. 

Stella rolled Bedelia off of her and onto her back, tracing her nipples with her fingers while moving her mouth down her body. Pushing Bedelia’s legs open with her shoulders, Stella moved her hands to part her lips. She made sure that Bedelia was watching her before lowering her mouth to her wetness. She opened her mouth and took a slow, long lick of Bedelia’s pussy, making the woman moan loud in response. 

Sounds of slurping, wetness, and soft moans filled the hotel room. Bedelia played with her own breasts as she was being pleasured by Stella’s mouth and fingers. She opened her eyes periodically to watch the other woman in between her legs. She was getting close; her legs were shaking more and more, her clit was becoming more swollen and sensitive. Bedelia took one hand from her breasts and cupped the back of Stella’s head to grind against her mouth.

She was so close. She felt the tale-tell signs of her orgasm; the tingling in her belly and toes, the stiffening of her nipples into even harder points, and the increased slickness of her vagina on Stella’s fingers and lips. She felt it and she let go, moaning loudly as she shook and quivered as she came.

Stella rode it out with her, never letting her fingers stop, sucking hard on Bedelia’s clit, until the other woman yanked her head back off of her. Stella was panting hard at the sight of Bedelia’s pleasure. She had to come.

Moving quickly, Stella climbed up Bedelia’s body, leaving a trail of wetness up her belly until she was above Bedelia's face. Her bald dripping pussy hovered over Bedelia’s open panting mouth before slowly meeting her tongue. 

Stella rode Bedelia’s face as she braced herself on the headboard. Her mouth was open with her panting and moans as Bedelia explored her folds and wet canal. Bedelia wrapped her arms around Stella’s thighs, keeping her from leaving her mouth. She loved the taste of her, sweet and tangy. Stella was moaning louder and moving her hips more as she was getting closer and closer. She came on Bedelia’s face, shuddering and shaking. 

Stella collapsed against the headboard. Bedelia moved out from between her legs, sitting up and moving to the bathroom, cleaning up and taking care of herself. She came back to see Stella asleep on the other side of the bed away from her on her side, exhausted from her pleasure. Bedelia slipped in between the sheets and fell asleep towards the window. 

***

Stella woke up just before dawn, the sun was slowly rising, creating enough light to see her sleeping partner. She took in Bedelia’s sleeping face, her perfect nose and lips, her long lashes and peaceful look. She had a sudden urge to move the fallen strand of straw colored hair from her face, but denied her feelings. She pushed the emotions down and got out of bed, gathering her scattered clothes before putting them on. 

She looked back one last time to the woman in the bed before leaving. As she walked down the hallway to her own room, she thought of last night; the feelings she felt as she watched Bedelia in the morning light. No, Stella cannot have feelings for her. It was a sweet night. No, deny everything. 

***

Fifteen minutes after Stella left, Bedelia woke up to the sun’s rays coming through the window, slightly blinding her in brightness. She knew that Stella was gone, she felt her leave the bed a while ago. She was angry at herself for feeling something for her. She could not get close to this woman that she will most likely never see again. No, Bedelia will deny her feelings for Stella. 

  
  



	2. anger

ii. anger

Years pass since their sweet night together. The women both had their monsters. Bedelia lived with one, escaped with her life, and moved on with all limbs intact. Stella found one living amongst a family, fought him, was physically and mentally injured by him, but was healing. 

Bedelia moved to London after Hannibal Lecter’s arrest and subsequent imprisonment. She came home; finding the family home she spent as a child and inhabiting it once more. She read all about Stella’s case in the papers, she knew the trauma that she was experiencing. Part of her wanted to reach out to her, but she still harbors a low simmering anger at her for not saying goodbye that night. 

Stella exited her therapist’s office, walking down the stairs and onto the sidewalk when she noticed a familiar face coming towards her. Doctor Bedelia Du Maurier. That sweet night that she kept thinking about. She has been trying to push those feelings away, but found that she couldn’t. She was mad at herself for that. As Bedelia came closer, Stella made a decision.

“Doctor Du Maurier, what a surprise to see you in London.” 

Bedelia, dressed in a navy wrapped dress that showed off her ample cleavage and stiletto heels, smiled slightly, “Stella, yes it is, I moved here a few years ago. I needed a change of scenery.” 

They made idle small talk as they stood on the sidewalk. Stella proposed a date for the two for the next evening, and Bedelia agreed. They said their goodbyes and Stella watched as Bedelia entered her therapist’s office.

***

Bedelia arrived at the address given to her; she knocked on the door and it opened soon after. Stella waved her inside. The table was set, fine crystal wine glasses and porcelain plates bracketed by silverware and cloth napkins. Stella made a pasta dish and served them both before sitting down. The women ate and talked about unimportant things. Stella knew that Bedelia knew what happened in Belfast, just as Bedelia knew that Stella knew about Hannibal. 

When dinner was done and dishes were soaking in the sink, Stella moved them to the couch in the living room. They finished their wine; Stella placed her glass on the coffee table and took Bedelia’s empty glass from her. She stands and offers a hand out to her. Bedelia takes her hand and is lead to Stella’s bedroom. 

Taking in the softness of Stella’s room, Bedelia is distracted and does not see as Stella bends down and takes something out of a bottom drawer next to her bed. When Bedelia turns back to Stella she sees a strap-on in her hand. 

“I want you to fuck me tonight.” Stella places the strap on the bed as she removes her clothes. 

Bedelia removes her clothes and puts on the harness and strap before focusing on Stella again. She takes in the fading bruises on Stella’s skin. She is mad all over again. 

“On your knees.” She orders Stella, barely covering the anger in her voice as she does. Stella turns on her hands and knees, offering her ass to Bedelia. Bedelia prepares Stella before entering her, inserting her fingers, one then two inside her. She rubs her clit with her thumb at the same time, making her wetter. 

When she felt that Stella was ready, she removed her fingers, putting them in her mouth, cleaning them. She took the strap in her hand, lining the head up with Stella’s hole, slowly inching in until Bedelia’s hips bumped Stella’s ass. Stella released a long moan at the feeling of Bedelia inside her. 

Bedelia calmed herself, kissed Stella’s back once, then began to thrust; barely moving at first, then slowly increasing the speed. Stella lowered her head and rested on her forearms, keeping her hips up. 

Stella was murmuring something that Bedelia could not make out, she increased her thrusts slightly, then she heard it: “Fuck me. Do it.”

Bedelia moaned, feeling as she fucked Stella harder, the more the base of the dildo hit her clit. She is releasing the untapped and unresolved anger that she had for Stella leaving her alone in that hotel room. With the harder thrusts, the louder Stella moaned. Bedelia needed to see her.

She pulled out of Stella and turned her over roughly; on her back, Bedelia took in Stella’s red cheeks and open plump mouth. She would not kiss her, but she could dream. Inserting the strap into Stella again, she resumed her hard thrusts. Stella whimpered out little grunts every time Bedelia bottomed out. 

Feeling dominant, Bedelia took Stella’s legs and pushed them up and out, opening her pussy even more for her as she fucked her. Stella helped her and grabbed underneath her thighs, keeping her legs apart. 

“Are you enjoying this, Stella? You like it when I fuck you hard?” Bedelia sounded out of breath as she kept fucking her. 

“Mmm yes, god keep doing it.” Stella watched with every thrust as Bedelia's breasts swayed and moved. She wanted them in her mouth. “Bedelia... “

“What? What do you want… say it.” 

“I want your tits in my mouth... please,” Stella never took her eyes away from Bedelia as she smiled in triumph and leaned in close so Stella could take a nipple in her mouth. 

Sucking and being fucked, Stella was in ecstasy; she knew she would come hard, but did not think she would squirt all over Bedelia’s strap. 

“Ughhhhhh, fuckkk!!!!” Stella released Bedelia’s nipple and screamed as she came all over Bedelia. 

Bedelia could not believe it. All her anger released as she fell over the edge of pleasure with Stella; the pressure of the strap on her clit created a bubble that popped when Stella came. 

The women panted together, on each other as they came down from their highs. Stella moaned slightly at the loss of Bedelia inside of her as she pulled out and took the harness off. She was surprised to see Bedelia re-dress instead of getting into bed with her. 

“This was fun, Stella. But I have to get going.” Bedelia put on her heels and looked at the naked woman on the bed, legs still splayed open. 

“Oh, okay. I’ll give you my number.” Stella was about to get up to find a pen when she saw Bedelia shake her head.

“That won’t be necessary.” Bedelia left Stella on the bed as she walked out the door, feeling a bit mean as she closed her front door. She knew what Stella was feeling, because she felt them too. 

As Bedelia walked home, she thought of Stella being alone. Anger was gone, depression now entered.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao I love myself sometimes, and this is one of those times <3
> 
> Thank you so So much for reading, it means the world to me!!


	3. bargaining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am feeling in a begging type of mood

iii. bargaining

Weeks went by without a word from Bedelia. Stella tried to focus on work, even swimming did not help her take her mind off of the blonde woman. She caved after two weeks and used her police resources to look up Doctor Bedelia Du Maurier’s address. She was surprised to see that she lived close by her. She had to see her, even if it was a passing glimpse.

***

Bedelia avoided places she thought Stella would be. It was not that she did not  _ want _ to see her, but she also did not have the  _ strength _ to see her. She knew that she would never recover if she did. Stella was like an addiction, the more Bedelia was with her, had her, the more she wanted. 

It was late one rainy night, Bedelia lit a fire in her fireplace and was about to pour another glass of wine when she heard a knock on her door. She was not expecting anyone, but she hoped it was the person she wanted. Looking through the peephole, she gasped. Stella stood there, face covered by her wet hood on her doorstep, looking so small. 

Bedelia opened the door and ushered Stella inside. Stella sat on the couch; her raincoat was removed and currently drips in the mudroom, as Bedelia poured another glass of wine. For some reason, Stella was taken aback by the warmth that Bedelia’s home emitted; the dark brown wood framing the fireplace and mantle, the baby grand piano sitting in the bay window area, and large red area rug on the floor. Stella thought that Bedelia would love modern pieces, more minimalistic in style than hunting lodge. 

When Bedelia came back, she handed Stella the glass and the women sat in silence as they finished the wine. Feeling empowered by the wine coursing through her veins, Stella decided to tell Bedelia what she felt. 

“I know we have this unspoken rule about us, what we do, but what if I want more?” Stella could not meet her eyes as she said this. 

Bedelia looks deeply into her empty glass, “I am sorry, Stella. Wanting more is normal, but we are not normal.”

“What if i want to be normal with _you_? And who even knows what ‘normal’ is? You’re a psychiatrist, you know that society changes the definition of what ‘normal’ is all the time! I am just asking for a chance.” Stella looks at her now, eyes widening at her words. 

“Oh, Stella.” Bedelia sighs, but Stella knows.

“I know,” Stella looks at her interlaced fingers, “Can we have one more night together before we say goodbye?”

Bedelia knows that this will not be a good idea, but pain and emotion beat out sensibility. She places her glass on the table in front of her and takes Stella's from her as well. She stands up and Stella follows her. For the first time, Bedelia takes off Stella’s clothes and lays her down lovingly in front of the fire. Both naked, the women caress and touch breasts, arms, legs, and legs with their mouths and hands. 

Stella is on top of Bedelia, almost about to lower her lips to hers, when she gets turned around, her face now towards Bedelia’s legs. Stella parts her legs to bracket Bedelia’s face as she lowered her mouth to Bedelia. 

Illuminated by the flames, the women slowly savored and tasted each other, the slurps and soft sighs filled the room. Bedelia released one tear that rolled behind her as Stella silently came on her face. As Stella came, her mouth never left Bedelia’s pussy, wanting to make her come so bad, and being rewarded by a slight amount of wetness on her face. Stella rolled off of Bedelia and the women laid on their backs, feet next to their heads as they catched their breath. After ten minutes, Stella sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging them in comfort as she watched Bedelia sit up as well. 

This was the time. Stella knew that this was the moment. She moved forward, taking Bedelia’s head in one hand and capturing her lips in a kiss. Bedelia’s eyes closed at the touch of Stella’s lips. They kissed and kissed and kissed. Sadly, Stella broke the kiss. She had to leave. This was the end. 

Bedelia did not move as she watched Stella dress, she just silently took in the beauty of the woman. When Stella turned by the front door, they gave each other a sad smile. It was only when the door closed that Bedelia let her tears fall.

  
  



	4. depression

iv. depression

Seasons changed from Spring to Autumn to Winter. Doctor Bedelia Du Maurier traveled around the world, seeking distractions and new memories to replace those of Stella Gibson. But nothing worked. She knew the signs of depression; the disinterest in normal pleasurable activities, the distancing away from friends and family, changes in sleeping and eating, and feeling of intense loneliness. She knows what caused it, she knows who can fix it. 

***

Stella Gibson was in a fog, not professionally though. No, she would never allow that to happen. Personally, she was in a adrift life boat with no oar. All she did was work. She rarely slept, too scared to have dreams about Bedelia. She needed her, which is something Stella did not usually experience. When she kissed her, it felt like a breath of fresh air came into her lung for the first time and healed her weary soul. She needed her. 

Stella knew that she loved Bedelia the second time they met. That night when she watched Bedelia leave her home after making her feel so good, physically hurt her. She never felt that feeling for a lover before. She never loved anyone, that part of her left with her father. But with Bedelia, she was not afraid anymore. She wanted more. 

***

Stuck in an airport, thousands of miles from home, Bedelia realized that she loved Stella. Something happened in that layover from Thailand, something shifted in her as she waited hours and hours for a plane to take her to London. She looked up to one of the televisions on the wall and saw a glimpse of Stella on a new baffling case. She looked sad, not like the lovely woman she had known. 

_She_ caused this. Bedelia knew that she was the one, because _she_ was the one who wanted their situation to remain the same. Those kisses that they shared, she could still feel them all these months later; the feel of her lips as they hotly touched hers, her wet tongue as it touched her own. Just the thought of her made her feel warm. 

Bedelia knew she loved Stella. She vowed to tell her when she got home, she would go to Stella’s home, take her face in her hands and kiss her like she has never been kissed before. She smiled as she daydreamed, waiting for her chariot to take her home.

  
  



	5. acceptance

v. acceptance

Bedelia arrived in London just after 4:39 in the morning after being on four different planes. She went home first, took a quick shower and changed her clothes before running towards Stella’s house. When she got to her house, she rang the doorbell, uncaring whether or not Stella was asleep. She  _ needed _ to see her. She waited.

***

Stella dozed on the couch as she listened to music. The music was long off as she looked at the time. She was about to move to her room when the doorbell rang. No one would be coming by at five in the morning, Stella cautiously moved to the door. She rose up on her tip-toes to look through the peephole and almost passed out at the sight of Bedelia. 

Stella yanked the door open, not caring about her appearance. Bedelia stood there and smiled. “What are you doing here?” 

“I had to see you. I know now.” Bedelia kept smiling.

Stella was confused but she had a feeling in the pit of her stomach of what Bedelia was saying, “You know what?”

“I love you, Stella. I think I loved you that first night together. I know now, and I am not scared anymore. I love you.” Bedelia moved towards Stella and took her face in her hands and kissed her. 

Stella moaned in her kiss, wrapping her arms around Bedelia’s neck as they kissed. Stella only broke the kiss to pull Bedelia inside, close the door and rush them upstairs to resume their kiss more privately.

As they walked up the stairs, Stella turned to her and said, “I love you too, Bedelia.”

Reaching the hallway, Bedelia backed Stella to the wall to attack her lips again, tongues mating and meeting. They parted only to remove their clothing, backing up until they made it fumbling to Stella’s bedroom. They giggled as Stella fell on the bed, taking Bedelia with her. Naked in each other’s arms, the women were so happy; happy they accepted their feelings and are now acting on them. 

Stella sat up from Bedelia to open a drawer, making Bedelia think that she was getting the strap again, but when Stella came back up, she held a light pink clear double-headed dildo. 

“I want us to look into each other’s eyes as we make love to each other.” Stella blushed as Bedelia gapes at her, eyes widening at the sight of the didlo she is holding. “Or if you don't, it’s okay--”

Bedelia silences her with a passionate kiss, “No, I want it badly. I want you.”

Stella smiles and they move into position; legs over one another, almost in a scissoring position, Stella’s left leg on top and Bedelia’s right on top. The women touch, never removing their lips from each other. Their fingers reach and run over pubic mounds, Stella’s shaved mound and Bedelia’s manicured curls, before fingers enter the wet, dripping canals. 

The feeling of fingers inside of them, the women sigh into each other’s mouths, smiling as they move their fingers in unison. After warming their pussies up, Stella grabs the dildo, first putting in Bedelia, then herself. Moans fill the room as they slowly penetrate each other.

Moving gently and braced now on their arms, the women move their hips as they watch the dildo between them get slick and wet with their movements.

Faster and faster, they move their hips. Their legs are open wide as they take more and more of the toy, harder and deeper inside. They watch their breasts, lips, and eyes as they make love. 

“Are you close, love?” Stella gasps as Bedelia moves her hips harder at the term.

“Yeah, baby. Are you?” Bedelia rolls her head back.

“Oh yeah, I’m almost there.” They move harder, determined to make the other woman come first. 

Stella and Bedelia come together. A first for both of them. They scream out as they come, collapsing on their backs, didlo still embedded within them, still connecting them together. They breathe hard. With one hand on her belly, Stella reaches one hand to find Bedelia’s, intertwining their fingers as they recover.

***

After a few minutes, an hour, or forever, the women move to the bathroom, taking their toy with them for cleaning later. They shower quickly together, just holding each other under the spray. They leave the bathroom and get into bed, finding one another and holding on for dear life. They will never be lonely or apart again. They found love.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aww it's over lmao but thank you for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> okay so, this is a new fic so thank you so much for sticking around to the end <3


End file.
